I have been a selfish, arrogant fool.

Some of you might call that a bit harsh, especially those who know me in person. But having read over my blog from post one, it has become clear to me that I am changing, and that I must change, my blogging style. For most of my blogging career, I have been writing to a group of people who I do not know, a generic cloud of geekdom that has hovered somewhere in the corner of cyberspace. I thought that if I could just write the sort of things that those people cared about, I would become popular and happy.

But I was not happy. I was, in fact, incredibly depressed. Why? Because I was squandering my writing ability. I was squandering my heart and my soul.

Those of you who have read my most recent series of blog posts have been able to see who I am. I have begun to pour my heart out in my writing again, not caring if I will be read or even liked. This has brought me more joy than I could have ever realized. And I think you all have felt a little of that too.

So, I’m announcing the closure of Duct Tape Alchemist. Don’t panic. All the content on this site will remain up. I’m just not going to be updating it any more.

I will instead be operating a new blog, The Code Of Riza, that will continue in the style and content of my most recent posts. Please follow me there if you have enjoyed them. If not, thank you for a year and a half of good times and craziness.

For the last time, I am,

-DTA

1. Never Lose Sight of Who You Really Are. I have often stumbled about in the mists of fantasy and self-indulgence, forgetting that I have a purpose and losing direction by wandering off the right path. If I hold on to the core of myself, I know I will always come back to where I need to be.

2. Don’t be Afraid of Failure or Success. It is substantially easier, though less fulfilling, to lead a mediocre life, barely scraping by on natural talent and the kindness of others. But while I have been able to skate by in some things, my life will get even more complicated next year when I graduate college. When that happens, I can either flap my wings and make for the open skies or stay in the nest and be a child forever (but only a child insofar as not maturing. I’m pretty sure there’s no way to turn back the clock there.) I will aim for those beautiful and terrifying skies, and I will not give up if I fall to the earth the first time or the first twenty times.

3. You Must Take Care Of Yourself First To Take Care of Others Later. This is a hard one for me, because I’m so concerned about my friends that I often neglect myself. I must remember that there are people who depend on me, and if I let myself crumble because I’m pushing my limits in an unhealthy way, they will suffer as well. When I have a family of my own (which I desire more than anything), this will be even more important. Related to this:

4. You Must Be A Beautiful Woman. I cannot forget that I am blessed with charming good looks and (when I bother to take care of it) a curvy-in-all-the-right-places figure. I am decidedly female, and I should stop trying to change or hide that. That means no more dressing up as men and most certainly no more letting myself get fat just because I’m lazy. I deserve better, and the man I’m going to marry deserves better (whoever the heck he is). Wearing makeup is a plus too.

5. Be the Friend You Wish You Had. See previous blog post on this one.

-DTA

The love of friendship, after all, is a pure form of love. It is more concentrated than agape (the purest form of love, a general willing of the good), focusing not on the everyman but instead on the individual. There is no expectation that the one to whom friendship is extended must do anything to merit this love other than being the person they are. All that is required is a mutual bond, where both individuals do their best to raise one another up and support each other in any way they can.

This is why the love of friendship should be at the root of any romantic relationship, at least if this relationship is to last. Friendship teaches us how to will the good of the other, how to compromise without diminishing ourselves, and how to live for another simply because they are them. If these things are missing in a romantic relationship, where eros is the only love that exists, there is a high risk that the whole thing will turn to lust.

How do we form lasting bonds of friendship? This is a difficult question. As human beings, we are inherently flawed, so we often wound others without meaning to. Furthermore, many of us have the infinite capacity to doubt the true intentions of the other, to wonder if they would rather (or in some cases if it would be better for them to) be away from us. We feel unworthy of their affection, or feel that they do not appreciate us.

To counteract this, we must remember that we are not the only ones involved. Friendship is a bond between individuals, so we alone do not decide who our friends are. They pick us as well. We do not force anyone to be our friends, and often they have reasons for keeping us around that we are unaware of. That’s the trouble with being unable to see through the eyes of whomever we wish. We must simply have faith that it is all for the best and do our utmost not to cause our friends pain.

-DTA

I’d like to take some time to thank the people who have touched my life this year and who have stayed by my side through everything I’ve gone through. Some of you know who you are. Others have no idea. But no matter what, I want you to know that I love you and appreciate you.

There are some of you out there who are hurting right now, and I would sincrely like to be a light for you as well. The world is not in a good state these days, and human suffering and pain continues in spite of all the good we try to do. But you must not lose faith. Perhaps you are feeling weak and vulnerable, and the roadblocks in your path loom like skyscrapers. But here’s the secret: everyone is weak and vulnerable, and we all feel it sometimes. If we support each other, we can make it through. That is why we exist. To help each other.

I’m not at my most eloquent tonight, and I may not be making much sense. But I cannot hold back just because I’m not at my best. There are burning desires that I must release into the world, in the hopes that they may touch you, change you in the way that I have been changed.

My greatest wish is for you, my friend. That you may be freed from all the dispair that has built up within you. The beauty of your soul is a becon to all others, calling us home on stormy nights when we are far from ourselves. Do you feel it even now, warm and fluttering inside you? Do not fear failure or being alone. As long as you live, you will succeed in what truly matters. And you will never be alone.

-DTA

One of the things that annoys me the most is the promiscuity of a certain group of bisexuals: those individuals who seem to use their sexual orientation as an excuse to have two partners instead of one.

I mean, what the hell? We consider it a grave wrong when a heterosexual cheats on their significant other, and also when a gay or lesbian individual is unfaithful to their partner. So why do some bisexuals think that just because they swing both ways they can have two lovers?

I’m not going to argue in this post about whether homosexuality is right or wrong. Anyone who knows me knows where I stand on that. The issue at hand has nothing to do with my beliefs on homosexuality, so it will be put aside for the sake of this discussion.

Let’s look at one of the common arguments that homosexuals and their supporters use: “love is love.” This means that it doesn’t matter what parts the person has, but that you love the person for who they are. I can buy this argument because I believe that other things, such as age, race, and background only matter in a relationship if you want them to. If you really love someone and wish only their good, none of that stuff matters as much.

But the promiscuous bisexual undermines this argument. Can you really call it love if you’re sleeping with someone else? No, you cannot. Love requires commitment and fidelity, something anyone with multiple partners is severely lacking in. It is nothing short of abuse, using the body of an individual to get one’s sexual fix. There is no desire for the good of the other. It’s just lust at best, and that is a grave sin.

I will freely admit that not all bisexuals are like this. I personally know quite a few bis who are extremely faithful to their current partner, regardless of gender. And it is a severe insult to these people to be lumped in with sluts like those I have referred to. A lot of people assume that all bisexuals are like that, and that in itself irks me almost as much as the bi-sluts themselves.

I guess my point is that, no matter who you love, you should be faithful to that person and not just screw whomever you want to just because you can. Gay, bi, straight, it doesn’t matter. There is no excuse for promiscuity, and those who indulge in it tear apart their own lives and thise of everyone around them.

And that really pisses me off.

-DTA

It is an ordinary story, I suppose, though complex in the journey itself. For it is a tale of a woman who became a child who became a woman, which by its very course is somewhat odd.

And there was a woman, after all. A strong, independent woman whose strength was her love for mankind and a joy found in simplicity that those who did not know better may have called childlike. She was not perfect, no, and often made terrible mistakes. But she was pure emotion, then, a creature made of poetry and music.

At the tender age of sixteen, she was old enough in faculty and determination to travel from her home to Guatemala alone to work in a school. And she grew stronger there, bathed in the grace and love that only the pure God-drenched faces of poor children can provide.

But something began to fester in her, a tiny termite of doubt that ate away at her wholeness and the preternatural wisdom she possessed. The meaning of love was lost to her, replaced by the empty shallowness of playground eros. Her music withered up and the meter of her soul detached itself and grew uneven. She grew submissive, weak, and immature in a matter of weeks, all ground lost.

Thus the woman became a child again, basking in the wavering affection of schoolgirl fantasy.

However, this is not the end of the story. The child began to despise and loathe herself and what she had permitted herself to become — no, what she had chosen to become. It was not a forced transformation, after all. There had always been a choice. She had willingly thrown away her shining graces to become a weak, pathetic thing. And she hated herself for that.

But she would not remain this way forever. One day, she would meet several someones who would bring her back to the One all good things come from. And after years of difficulty, self-hatred, and despair, one day she would finally meet the someone who would give her music back. And she would be a woman once again, still scarred and world-weary, but whole and filled with the pure love that rendered her beautiful again.

-DTA

I’m going to go visit a friend of mine in Indiana. Such a party destination. But really, I’m just glad I have a place to go at all. I was almost stuck at school. How lame would that have been?

It’s not like I have Spring Break off either. I have a novel to finish writing, a bunch of reading for school, and studying for my GREs, which I’m taking in April. So all in all, it’s a good thing I’m not going to the beach or something. Knowing my luck, a drunken frat boy would try to eat my computer and destroy all of my hard work. That would suck.

I leave in less than an hour, so I guess I’d better pack.

See you all on the other side!

-DTA

Genre: Action/Supernatural/Fantasy

Director: Tim Burton

Year: 2010

Number of Times Seen: 1

Owned: No

Govt. Rating: PG-13

DTA Rating: 7/10

Reasons For Loving/Hating: Fantastic visuals, brilliant acting, and great script. Just a bit too preachy for my taste.

___________________________________________________________________________

It’s been a while since I’ve been able to actually watch anything in theatres (the last was Zombieland), so when my Chinese exchange student friend Lu turned 17 yesterday and wanted to go see Alice, I jumped at the opportunity. I love Tim Burton according to his merits, which means while I don’t worship the man, I always enjoy his movies.

The first thing I’d like to point out to my readers is that you should NOT bring children to this movie. I thought the rating would deter that, but the theatre I saw it in was at least half 4-8 year olds. I mean, what the hell? It might be Alice in Wonderland, but it’s Tim freaking Burton!! I’ll bet half those tykes won’t sleep for a month. On top of that, this isn’t the Alice we know. The Alice in this story is much older– 19, in point of fact, so the protagonist isn’t even relatable to the little ankle-biters.

As far as plot, it is a unique story that is more an homage to Carroll’s original vision than a movie version of the same. There are lots of references to parts of the books that I’ve never seen on film before: Burton does an exceptional job with these. The main reason why I think they haven’t appeared before is that those are the darker parts of the books, and don’t really fit in with the upbeat portrayals of the Alice story we have previously seen. But with Burton’s twisted artistic vision, they come to life very believably. (Course, I’m sure it helped that I saw it in 3D, but I bet it still holds up in 2D.)

I’ll confess at this point that I am incredibly sick of Johnny Depp. Not that he isn’t talented, but he’s in everything and I think they need to find another smexy actor to take over for him before he eats the entire film industry. And I mean really smexy, not scruffy, greasy, and untalented (yes, I’m referring to you, Robert Pattinson. . .). All the same, I was pleasantly surprised with his performance in this film. I think the Mad Hatter was a great role for him, and he managed to seem sweet rather than creepy.

Depp as the Mad Hatter: sweetly insane

Depp as Willie Wonka: creepy as all hell

See the difference? Well, if you don’t, watch both movies and you will. . . . Oh, never mind. Just watch Alice. I wouldn’t want to subject you to Charlie and the Chocolate Factory.

As far as the rest of the cast, a lot of critics argued that Helena Bonham Carter stole the show as the Red Queen. I have to disagree. She was fantastic, but I don’t think her performance was the most memorable of the movie. On the contrary, I think that if anyone owned this movie, it was relative newcomer Mia Wasikowska as the title character. She was absolutely brilliant, and understated in a way that really set her apart from the rest of the cast.

Mia: a stranger in a strange cast

As far as the themes, I thought it was interesting to look at this as a feminist reinterpretation of a childhood classic. What was once a classic stranger in a strange land tale becomes instead a manifesto on feminine rebellion and individuality. Alice, after all, is a Victorian woman, and is (at least according to our society) forced to obey what she considers to be meaningless social conventions. When she goes down the rabbit hole, she becomes “empowered” and suddenly has the guts to stand up and fight for her right to be. . . a man? Yeah. Basically. After all, she’s definitely wearing a tie in the last scene.

Needless to say, I found this a bit annoying, especially when she did that thing with the sword. But it wasn’t enough to kill my enjoyment of this incredible ride of a movie.

In short, go see it if you haven’t already. And see it in 3D: they let you keep those incredibly geeky glasses. Total win.

-DTA

As those of you who know me are most likely aware, I was (up until this weekend) the president of my school’s anime club. Due to some issues — which I blame no one for, by the by — I have resigned and decided to spend my time working on more important things. . . like blogging.

This means you all will be hearing from me way more than you have been, and I will be bringing back some of my features like DTA At The Movies, Duct Tape Crafts, and Recipies. So prepare yourselves for awesome. It’s gonna be a wild ride.

Now I must to class, sweet ducks! Take care!

-DTA

Whew! Now that that’s out of the way, I decided to try out the video posting thingie here to show you guys the Shakujo Rogues videos my Vice-Commander and I made. Hers is pretty traditional. . .

Mine, on the other hand, is, well. . . I suppose the only word you can really use is unique. But hey. Illich liked it. And in the end, I guess that’s all that matters.

In other news, I just finished Mushi-Hime!! If you’ve been following my epic fanfiction attempt, you know this is a big deal. I started it over a year and a half ago, and it’s the first piece of writing I’ve done that I actually finished! Go me!

If you wanna check it out, hit me up on my profile at fanfiction.net. And don’t forget to review. I likes it when you review.

Well, that’s about it for now. I have a ten-page short story due Monday, so I’ll be writing furiously all weekend. Therefore, I’ll see y’all when I see y’all.

-DTA