I have decided, after some delay

That this month I’ll refuse the common line

And type in pure Iambic, as you see

Blank verse is fair, and online fairer still:

It’s time that we take back the English tongue!

Until the Ides of March, just o’er a month

(I thought the bard would relish this end date)

I shall write nothing that is not in feet

Iambic, and in length exactly five.

-DTA (forgive my silly whims)

Wow. What can I say? It’s been one heck of a crazy week. Maybe I’ll post about it later. . . but probably not. That’d make it too easy for you all to figure out why I’m so happy (hee hee).

So, Ohayocon. What can I say? It was the best convention I’ve been to, hands down. I met all sorts of awesome new friends, like Susan and Rachel and Kyle. . . I love you guys tons! There’s no one I’m happier to have started a club with.

Kyle and I as Gojyo and Nii from Saiyuki. Yes, that is a bunny-ears squid.

The first day, I cosplayed as Muraki, and it was epic. I was amazed at how many people recognized the character. Actually, more people recognized me as Muraki than Nii, which I thought was odd. Apparently Yami no Matsuei is more popular than I thought. Anyways, didn’t do much the first day besides sleep, as I needed to pretty badly.

The second day was amazing. I woke up early and got in line for Illich Guardiola’s autograph two hours early. But it paid off, as I met Susan and we spent the rest of the day at the front of lines because of our amazing teamwork. We also fan-sniped Greg Ayers, which was pretty funny because he and I had a Nii/Goku/squid moment (probably safer not to ask, folks).

During a nearly tragic scheduling flaw which put J Michael Tatum’s autograph session right before Illich’s panel, we managed to not only get J Michael to sign my squid plushie, but we still made it in time for the panel that would change my life forever.

By this, I mean that I somehow left the panel as the Commander of the Shakujo Rogues, Illich’s official fan brigade. Not that I mind. I’m actually quite pleased. After all, the man is amazing. And he’s doing CHESS right now (best freaking musical ever), so I’m more than happy to call myself a fan. Besides, he’s gotta be the nicest man I’ve ever met no doubt about it. I was amazed he didn’t already have a fangroup.

Meeting Illich for the first time. I'm amazed he agreed to get a pic with a bearded creeper like me.

As far as the rest of the con, I’m happy to say that I got to have quite a few adventures that can only happen at cons: Getting hugged by the Herpes Fairy, for instance, or the fact that I was nearly mind crushed by Yami for glomping Kaiba (they were dating). Also, only at Oyayocon do you have cheerleaders and furries in the same building (two cons at the same time. Worst. Planning. Ever.).

Also, I was able to get some really awesome pictures. But none of those have me in them, so I don’t care. Here’s one with Aaron Dismuke, the voice of Al:

One of the only VAs who is actually younger than me!

Well, that’s about all I have to report, so don’t forget to join the Shakujo Rogues forum here. It’d be lovely to have you!

Until next time, I am

-DTA

Well, it’s about an hour before I leave for Ohayocon, so I thought I’d just write a quick little pre-blog.

For some reason, getting a short haircut has led me to believe that I can now cosplay as men. While my anatomy makes this look kinda silly, I still have some really cool costumes. Today I’m dressed as Dr. Kazutaka Muraki from Yami no Matsue. Then I’ll be Dr. Nii Jianyi from Saiyuki, and on Sunday I’ll be Cho Hakkai, also from Saiyuki. So I’m going as three serial murderers, basically. Good times.

I’m very excited to meet people, as this is the largest convention I’ve been to. It pleases me greatly. I’m expecting lots of fun and fellowship (as well as all that crazy stuff that only happens at cons. . . really glad I’m not wearing a miniskirt this time).

In other news, I was able to fit back into my size 8 jeans relatively comfortably yesterday, which is awesome because that means I’ve lost a lot of belly fat, so I’m pretty sure i’ll be able to wear a bikini by the time summer rolls around (go me!).

Also, I won five duels out of 8 this week with my “crappy fire deck”, so my strategy in Yu-Gi-Oh has gotten much better. Next week I’ll be taking on Kade, the school champion. I’m expecting to get obliterated, but that’s the only way to get better so I’m looking forward to it.

I’ll be posting pictures and other cool stuff when I get back, as well as making a better store page and revamping some other stuff. So have a good weekend, and I’ll see you all on Monday if I don’t see you at the con.

-DTA

Left to Lose: 27

At night, the radiator in my room turns into a jet engine. Or, rather, it seems to dream about being one As I lie awake listening to it howl and sputter, I am reminded of distant dreams I can barely recall, of other worlds I know in my sleep, but have never truly encountered.

I ponder the magic of the night, that fantastic tension which drags my soul naked across landscapes foreign and familiar. How often in dreams have I been able to truly be with the one I love, who is as distant a creature as a phantom! Strange that I should long to wake, knowing he will fade from my arms when I arise.

Yet in my magical nocturne jet, I am able to fly to his warm embrace once more, to caress his pale cheek and ruffle his dark hair. For the one I love knows well the flight path the radiator conjures, and he finds me without fail, regardless of the mode or method painting our environs.

So why do I flee from sleep, from his emerald eyes and supple lips? Is it because I recognize the futility of flight, my heart a pair of wax-melted Icarine wings? Or is it simply that I am unable to bear another morning’s loss of so great a passion?

In the end, the radiator begins its descent, fwapping angstily in its shell like a weakened baby bird, and I am greeted by nothing but a room filled to the ceiling with memories and useless possessions. Perhaps someday I will truly find peace, but never in this darkened museum of futility.

Never at six in the morning.

-DTA

So today was the fist day of the FUS Battle City Tournament (also known as the duel between Kevin Kaiba and myself). Before I explain, I have to point out that I spent a total of ten dollars on my Yu-Gi-Oh deck last semester, so it really kinda sucks. And I can’t make it better until I get more money, or my lovely fans donate good cards to me (wink wink hint hint. . . email me and I’ll give you my PO box).

So I lost. Three times in a row. But it was a lot of fun. Who would have thought that a children’s card game played by adults could be so much fun? I certainly didn’t when I used to watch GX in high school (Cyrus Trusedale FTW). It looked kinda boring without all the soul-stealing and explosions. But now, I have seen how much fun it can be, and I want to do it more.

So I guess I’m on the way to becoming a Yu-Gi-Oh geek, once I finally get a better deck and start winning. And I’ll be happy to post more as I fight.

My favorite card right now is Raging Flame Sprite, btw. That card rules, and I have three of them. But what I wouldn’t give for a Blue Eyes White Dragon or a Dark Magician Girl. . . yeah,I’m a sucker for the classics.

-DTA

Left to Lose: 30

I’ve recently begun podcasting anime reviews at this site. I recommend checking it out.

-DTA

I’ve had a lot of trouble sleeping lately, not for lack of tiredness. My dreams have become most vivid and disturbing, to the point where I wake every few minutes in an effort to change the channel in my brain. It is as though Poe has taken hold of my subconscious, Lovecraft is writing the script, and Bierce is reporting on the result. In short, it is madness incarnate.

Last night, this reached a fever pitch, as two particular dreams haunted me. In the first, I was forced to revisit the life I had three years ago, only in the present. I was forced to confront the fact that part of me is still trapped there, still bound to a fixation both impossible and cruel.

In the second, I was brutally assaulted and willingly gave in to my attackers in order to spare the life of my best friend, who would have probably let himself get killed if I had allowed him to save me. But he did not flee, and instead insisted on watching me suffer, disgusted with me that I had made such a choice.

So why am I haunted by these dreams? I believe it comes from the two archetypes I have allowed to shape me.

The first is the older man who has betrayed me. This character is typically immature and petty, and either unaware of my emotional state or deliberately cruel and misleading for his own sport. One of my biggest fears is to be controlled by such a figure, as trusting him will inevitably lead to heartache and a lessening of myself.

The second is the younger man who is my rescuer. He is mature beyond his years, kind and empathetic, and would rather cut out his own tongue than betray me. My greatest fears are to betray him and what he stands for, to undermine him, or to fall in love with him, as doing so would bring him nothing but pain and frustration.

I have always been a person of extremes. My idea of balance has been to run back and forth as fast as I can while juggling all sorts of things that are not my responsibility. These dueling archetypes seem to be symptoms of this, of my fear of being either too dominant or  too submissive, too strong or too weak, too cruel or too kind. Perhaps it is time for me to take the middle road in earnest, and to let my ghosts lie where they were made, regretting nothing.

Too bad that is easier said than done.

-DTA

Left to Lose: 34

The day before Christmas, I received a package from a young man whom I have recently become friends with. Inside was a stunning garnet pendant on a silver chain.

Now, being that I am a woman who possesses an active imagination, I immediately began contemplating possible motives for this gift. After all, we are only recent friends, so it seemed odd that he would send me something so, well, shiny.

Puzzled, I emailed him, asking him in the sweetest possible way why he sent it to me. His reply was a single sentence:

Because beautiful women should wear beautiful things.

This threw me for a loop. I definitely wasn’t expecting that. I mean, I consider myself to be pretty, but I’m definitely no beauty queen. Besides, why should I wear beautiful things? People will just think I’m vain if I do that.

But then I realized something: that’s not really why I dress like I do. I don’t do it because I don’t want people to judge me. The truth is, I think I’m a little bit afraid of being female.

It’s true. When my girly mother isn’t around, I never wear makeup or jewelry. Unless I’m cosplaying, I go to class with bed hair and wear the first mostly-clean thing I can find in the morning. Classic tomboy.

Nice clothes, styled hair, and girly accessories make me uncomfortable, like people will treat me differently  if I bother to look like a female. It’s silly, I know, but it’s a habit going back as far as I can remember, when all my best friends were boys and I shunned the Polly Pocket crowd for the Pokemon crowd.

But that’s not who I really am, is it? I mean, that part of me mostly died after I realized that boys were also for kissing . . . but that boys don’t generally kiss their best friends. There’s no reason for me to still try to hide behind my geekdom. I can be a geek and be a woman too.

My friend reminded me that I am lovely, and that I have a responsibility to take care of my good looks. I can’t go on acting like it doesn’t matter. I have to start acting like a woman before I lose everything I’ve been given.

So, thank you, B, for that. And the next time you see me, you’ll see me how I was always meant to be seen.

-DTA

Left to lose: 36

Sorry it’s been so long since my last craft piece. It’s a little hard to explain, so it took me a while to figure out how.

Difficulty: Basic

You Will Need:

1 Roll of duct tape (any color)

A flat, clean workspace

Scissors

Decorating tools (I recommend sharpies and clear packing tape)

Sticky-back Velcro

Instructions:

1. Make an approximately 10×8 inch rectangle of duct tape fabric (DTF), or size to suit your needs. I usually eyeball it.

2. Fold it in half so it looks like, well, an open wallet.

3. Tape the ends shut.

4. To make credit card slots, make small pieces of DTF and tape them to the inside cover of the wallet.

5. To make an id slot, measure a piece of DTF a little larger than your id, cut out the middle a little smaller than your id, and tape it to the inside cover as well.

6. Put velcro strips on it to hold the wallet shut when not in use.

7. Decorate as desired. I recommend drawing designs in permanent marker and protecting them with packing tape.

Happy taping!

-DTA

Left to Lose: 40

So I found a recent list of the top 200 anime, and wondered how many I’d seen. Here is the result. Bolded I’ve finished. Italics I’ve seen at least one episode. Apparently there’s a lot I haven’t seen yet.

Finished: 33

Started: 43

All others that I’m interested in will be added to my “Anime to Watch” list, to be marked off when I have finished them.

1	Rurouni Kenshin – Reminiscence (1999)	8.869	9.6	226
2	Fullmetal Alchemist (2003)	8.615	9.2	246
3	Kimi Ga Nozomu Eien (2003)	8.600	9.2	227
4	Full Moon wo Sagashite (2002)	8.532	9.2	213
5	Elfen Lied (2004)	8.507	9.1	254
6	Cowboy Bebop (1998)	8.506	9.0	276
7	Hikaru no Go (2001)	8.446	9.2	181
8	One Piece (1999)	8.363	9.4	127
9	Berserk (1997)	8.347	9.0	216
10	Gundam SEED (2002)	8.247	9.0	175
11	12 Kokuki (2002)	8.196	9.0	152
12	Hunter X Hunter (1999)	8.183	9.4	109
13	Last EXILE (2003)	8.170	8.8	217
14	Full Metal Panic? Fumoffu! (2003)	8.136	8.9	157
15	Hajime no Ippo (2000)	8.118	9.2	112
16	Scrapped Princess (2003)	8.109	8.8	186
17	Great Teacher Onizuka (1999)	8.082	9.1	127
18	Neon Genesis Evangelion (1995)	8.082	8.5	294
19	GunGrave (2003)	8.064	9.0	138
20	Rahxephon (2002)	8.059	8.7	188
21	Suzumiya Haruhi no Yuutsu (2006)	8.010	9.0	123
22	DEATH NOTE (2006)	8.007	9.3	96
23	Grave of the Fireflies (1988)	8.001	8.9	133
24	Haibane Renmei (2002)	7.981	9.0	120
25	Monster (2004)	7.979	9.3	88
26	Planet ES (2003)	7.945	9.1	102
27	Furi Kuri (2000)	7.931	8.5	198
28	Onegai Teacher (2002)	7.906	8.6	173
29	AIR TV (2005)	7.884	8.9	110
30	Samurai Champloo (2004)	7.872	8.6	161
31	Fruits Basket (2001)	7.872	8.5	176
32	Mai HiME (2004)	7.858	8.8	122
33	Naruto (2002)	7.854	8.2	372
34	Shingetsutan Tsukihime (2003)	7.852	8.5	188
35	BECK (2004)	7.842	8.9	107
36	Rurouni Kenshin (1996)	7.822	8.7	132
37	Azumanga Daioh (2002)	7.813	8.5	170
38	Spirited Away (2001)	7.794	8.9	97
39	X TV (2001)	7.785	8.8	111
40	Trigun (1998)	7.776	8.4	171
41	Vision of Escaflowne (1996)	7.774	8.7	121
42	Bleach (2004)	7.770	8.4	176
43	Ima, Sokoni Iru Boku (1999)	7.728	8.8	101
44	Full Metal Panic! The Second Raid (2005)	7.695	9.1	76
45	GetBackers (2002)	7.681	8.6	121
46	Full Metal Panic! (2002)	7.663	8.3	170
47	Princess Mononoke (1997)	7.654	8.8	89
48	Gunslinger Girl (2003)	7.643	8.4	132
49	Ghost in the Shell Stand Alone Complex 1st GIG (2002)	7.637	8.8	89
50	Uchuu no Stellvia (2003)	7.628	8.4	141
51	Hoshi no Koe (2002)	7.626	8.3	149
52	Wolf’s Rain (2003)	7.618	8.3	159
53	Chrno Crusade (2003)	7.617	8.4	142
54	Read or Die (2001)	7.606	8.6	110
55	Cowboy Bebop – Knockin’ on heaven’s door (2001)	7.583	8.8	87
56	Gankutsuoh (2004)	7.573	9.2	65
57	Scryed (2001)	7.538	8.4	112
58	Serial Experiments Lain (1998)	7.513	8.1	167
59	Kareshi Kanojo no Jijou (1998)	7.508	8.2	137
60	School Rumble (2004)	7.497	8.7	85
61	Princess Tutu (2002)	7.478	9.2	57
62	Vampire Hunter D: Bloodlust (2001)	7.469	8.5	93
63	Jungle wa itsumo Hare nochi Guu (2001)	7.459	8.9	68
64	Vandread 2 (2001)	7.452	8.8	73
65	Noir (2001)	7.437	8.1	148
66	Boogiepop Phantom (2000)	7.432	8.6	82
67	Chobits (2002)	7.428	7.9	224
68	Eureka Seven (2005)	7.425	9.0	63
69	Kino no tabi ~the Beautiful World~ (2003)	7.413	8.9	66
70	Seikai no Monshou (1999)	7.404	8.9	65
71	Infinite Ryvius (1999)	7.398	8.7	71
72	Saikano (2002)	7.383	7.9	198
73	Nausicaa of the Valley of the Wind (1984)	7.369	8.9	62
74	Genshiken (2004)	7.367	8.5	81
75	Maison Ikkoku (1986)	7.362	9.1	55
76	Hachimitsu to Clover (2005)	7.337	8.7	69
77	Witch Hunter Robin (2002)	7.311	7.9	145
78	R.O.D -THE TV- (2003)	7.310	8.4	82
79	Hellsing (2001)	7.293	7.8	188
80	Ghost in the Shell (1995)	7.270	8.4	84
81	Midori no Hibi (2004)	7.269	8.1	109
82	Ai Yori Aoshi (2002)	7.266	8.0	123
83	Initial D – First Stage (1998)	7.259	8.4	78
84	Seikai no Senki (2000)	7.256	8.9	54
85	Vandread (2000)	7.252	8.1	111
86	Kiddy Grade (2002)	7.248	8.1	103
87	Card Captor Sakura (1998)	7.241	8.4	79
88	Whisper of the heart (1995)	7.229	9.0	50
89	Koi Kaze (2004)	7.211	8.6	64
90	Golden Boy (1995)	7.210	8.3	81
91	Paranoia Agent (2004)	7.208	8.5	71
92	Rurouni Kenshin – Seisouhen (2001)	7.206	8.1	102
93	Inuyasha (2000)	7.206	7.8	148
94	Laputa: Castle in the Sky (1986)	7.201	8.7	57
95	Kodomo no Omocha (1996)	7.190	9.1	47
96	Akira (1988)	7.188	7.8	142
97	Tennis no Ohjisama (2001)	7.188	8.3	80
98	Kannazuki no Miko (2004)	7.188	8.3	77
99	Kanon (2002)	7.151	8.1	88
100	Gravitation TV (2000)	7.108	8.5	59
101	Maria-sama ga Miteru (2004)	7.101	8.6	56
102	Fushigi Yuugi (1995)	7.094	8.0	92
103	Maho Tsukai ni Taisetsu na Koto (2003)	7.080	8.5	58
104	D.C ~Da Capo~ (2003)	7.078	7.9	98
105	Mahoromatic (2001)	7.068	8.1	82
106	Kaleido Star (2003)	7.062	9.1	40
107	Outlaw Star (1998)	7.040	8.2	69
108	Evangelion: End of Evangelion (1997)	7.035	8.0	81
109	.hack//SIGN (2002)	7.020	7.4	194
110	Ergo Proxy (2006)	7.016	8.8	46
111	Ohran Koko Host Club (2006)	7.000	8.7	47
112	Aishiteruze Baby (2004)	6.987	8.2	65
113	Samurai 7 (2004)	6.962	8.2	64
114	CODE GEASS Hangyaku no Lelouch (2006)	6.955	8.9	41
115	Hana Yori Dango (1996)	6.951	8.8	42
116	Yakitate!! Japan (2004)	6.947	8.6	46
117	Martian Successor Nadesico (1996)	6.939	8.0	76
118	Excel Saga (1999)	6.938	7.9	82
119	Ranma 1/2 (1989)	6.929	8.3	55
120	Ai Mai Mi ! Strawberry Egg (2001)	6.928	8.0	69
121	Slam Dunk (1993)	6.926	8.5	49
122	Ayashi no Ceres (2000)	6.923	8.0	73
123	Kumo no Muko, Yakusoku no basho (2004)	6.918	8.2	58
124	Tenshi na Konamaiki (2002)	6.915	8.3	55
125	Kimagure Orange Road TV (1987)	6.902	8.6	45
126	Mahoromatic TV 2 (2002)	6.892	7.9	72
127	Paradise Kiss (2005)	6.886	8.7	42
128	Kidou Tenshi Angelic Layer (2001)	6.883	8.2	56
129	Ultra Maniac TV (2003)	6.883	8.5	48
130	Onegai Twins (2003)	6.881	7.4	140
131	Millennium Actress (2001)	6.870	8.6	44
132	Pita Ten (2002)	6.867	8.4	49
133	Love Hina (2000)	6.862	7.4	135
134	Yu Yu Hakusho (1992)	6.853	8.5	45
135	CLAYMORE (2007)	6.843	8.4	46
136	TEXHNOLYZE (2003)	6.833	8.4	46
137	Revolutionary Girl Utena (1997)	6.829	8.3	49
138	Jin-Roh, The Wolf Brigade (2000)	6.821	8.4	47
139	Slayers, The (1995)	6.814	8.2	51
140	AA! Megami Sama (1993)	6.798	7.9	68
141	Shaman King (2001)	6.786	8.5	42
142	D.N Angel (2003)	6.780	7.7	75
143	Matantei Loki – Ragnarok (2003)	6.754	8.3	44
144	Abenobashi Mahou Shotengai (2002)	6.750	7.8	67
145	GANTZ (2004)	6.748	7.8	68
146	Kiki’s Delivery Service (1989)	6.748	8.3	44
147	Final Fantasy VII Advent Children (2005)	6.736	7.6	83
148	Suzuka (2005)	6.725	7.9	59
149	AA! Megami Sama: The Movie (2000)	6.716	8.3	43
150	.hack//Legend of Twilight Bracelet (2003)	6.701	7.6	72
151	Tokyo Underground (2002)	6.677	7.5	81
152	MADLAX (2004)	6.671	8.1	47
153	Trinity Blood (2005)	6.659	7.9	54
154	Ghost in the Shell 2: Innocence (2004)	6.654	8.0	50
155	Peace Maker Kurogane (2003)	6.653	7.8	56
156	Sokyu No Fafner (2004)	6.644	8.2	41
157	Gundam Wing (1995)	6.635	7.6	65
158	Howl no Ugoku Shiro (2004)	6.623	8.1	44
159	REC (2006)	6.608	8.1	43
160	Rozen Maiden (2004)	6.594	8.1	41
161	Tsubasa Chronicle (2005)	6.591	7.8	51
162	Piano (2002)	6.589	8.0	44
163	Yami no Matsuei (2000)	6.573	8.0	45
164	Gundam SEED Destiny (2004)	6.564	7.6	63
165	DearS (2004)	6.552	7.6	62
166	Shakugan no Shana (2005)	6.548	7.9	46
167	Gunparade March – Arata Naru Ko Gunka (2003)	6.530	7.9	46
168	NARUTARU (2003)	6.527	7.5	60
169	Green Green TV (2003)	6.525	7.3	74
170	Love Hina Christmas Special (2000)	6.519	8.0	40
171	SHUFFLE! (2005)	6.493	7.6	56
172	Ninja Scroll (1993)	6.489	7.6	56
173	Appleseed Movie (2004)	6.485	7.5	56
174	Happy Lesson TV (2002)	6.480	7.6	54
175	Record of Lodoss War OVA (1990)	6.459	7.5	58
176	Escaflowne – The Movie (2000)	6.455	7.3	70
177	Perfect Blue (1997)	6.454	7.7	47
178	To Heart (1999)	6.434	7.5	53
179	Fate/stay night (2006)	6.404	7.7	44
180	Tenjou Tenge (2004)	6.390	7.2	68
181	Chikyu Shojo Arjuna (2001)	6.385	7.8	40
182	Boys Be (2000)	6.375	7.7	42
183	Blood: The Last Vampire (2000)	6.361	6.9	106
184	Ai Yori Aoshi ~Enishi~ (2003)	6.292	7.3	53
185	Alien Nine (2001)	6.240	7.4	44
186	Grenadier – Hohoemi no Senshi - (2004)	6.156	7.1	47
187	Dragon Ball (1986)	6.138	7.2	44
188	E’s Otherwise (2003)	6.132	7.2	42
189	Love Hina OVA (2002)	6.079	6.8	62
190	Prince of Darkness (1998)	6.023	7.0	40
191	Dragon Ball Z (1989)	5.995	6.2	180
192	Ichigo 100% (2005)	5.992	6.8	48
193	Kono Minikuku Mo Utsukushii Sekai (2004)	5.989	6.6	68
194	Samurai Deeper Kyo (2002)	5.984	6.5	79
195	Flame of Recca (1997)	5.978	6.9	43
196	Ikkitousen (2003)	5.965	6.6	57
197	Kite (1998)	5.955	6.5	70
198	Girls Bravo First Season (2004)	5.929	6.9	40
199	Maburaho (2003)	5.806	6.5	45
200	Final Fantasy Unlimited (2001) -DTA Left to Lose: 45